Moreover,  Thais didn’t celebrate the beginning of 2010 this year, but the beginning of 2553. This is because Thais calculate their dates according to the Buddhist Era (พุทธศักราช  – commonly abbreviated in English to BE) rather than the Christian Era (AD or CE). The Buddhist Era, which was adopted as Thailand’s official dating system in 1911, starts from the day on which the Buddha passed to Nirvana.  The general rule of thumb when determining dates in the Buddhist Era is to add 543 to the CE date.  Naturally this system was in common use in Thailand prior to 1911, but it was also used in conjunction with several other calendrical systems, and indeed, did not become the sole dating system to be used until 1932.  Other systems have historically included Chunlasakkarat (minor era), which was often used in manuscripts and Mahasakkarat (major era).  Another dating system, the Rattanakosin Era, is also found on manuscripts and books during the first five reigns of the Chakri dynasty (1782-1910).

The Thai calendar and Thai time are fascinating topics, of which more in later posts. But for now, a rather belated Sawatdee Pii Mai!

Note: Apologies for the hiatus in posts – I have been on maternity leave for the past 9 months. My little boy (the youngest of my four children) is now 8 months old, and I will endeavour to update this website when the children let me.

Such conceptions of the body are reflected in Thai vocabulary. As with much other Thai vocabulary, the politer versions of the words tend ultimately to be derived from Sanksrit, while the vulgar or informal words are original Thai.

The body itself can be referred to in a number of ways in Thai. At the bottom of the rung, as it were, of informality, the body is tua (ตัว). This carries connotations beyond the physical: tua eng, for instance, means oneself, while tua lakorn is a character in a play. However, it is at the same time deeply rooted in the physical, being the classifier for animals (more on classifiers in a later post).

Even more physical is the word rang kai (ร่างกาย), which very much refers to the body as a physical, as opposed to psychological, entity. In certain contexts the body may also be referred to by either one of the two components of this word: rang or kai.

The head, meanwhile, is referred to in informal usage as hua (หัว), which extends into the metaphorical realm in the same way as the word ‘head’ does in (English (the head of an organization, for instance, is referred to as hua naa).  Much more specific to the physical human head is the polite word seesa (ศีรษะ), which is what you’ll normally see in written Thai, and is the word you would use when talking to, say, a doctor.

If you want to talk about the foot, meanwhile, you would use the word thao (เท้า), a word acceptable in both formal and informal usage. However, some people use the word dteen (ตีน), which is thought of as being considerably more vulgar, and indeed is found in the construction son dteen (ส้นตีน), which literally means ‘heel’, but by extension is used as a swearword to mean something (or someone) base and vulgar. Finally, you often come across the word baat (บาท) to mean ‘foot’, particularly in reference to the Buddha’s footprints. Baat is also found in the word baat withee (บาทวิถี), the formal word for a pavement, although a Thai version of the word ‘footpath’ is more often used in general conversation.

The most useful word to know in this context is khee (ขี้). While on its own khee means something like ’shit’ (although it should be noted that while it is a rather blunt word, it is not considered swearing), in conjunction with other words is can mean almost any bodily excretion. For instance khee mook (ขี้มูก) is nasal mucus, khee huu (ขี้หู) is earwax, khee dtaa (ขี้ตา) is sleep from one’s eyes, and so on. You also find prik khee nu chillies, which in English are often called ‘bird’s eye’ chillies, but which actually translates as ‘mouse shit chillies’.

The equivalent word when it comes to urination, which means something along the lines of ‘pee’ in English, ischee (ฉี่), although in slightly more vulgar speech one might use the word yiaw (เยี่ยว), a word commonly used when talking about animals (hence the name for preserved eggs – khai yiaw maa – which literally means ‘horse piss eggs’. Appetising stuff).

A further word for poo, commonly used when talking to or about small children, is eu (อึ), a word that sounds so much like a young child straining to go, that it is surely onomatopoeic.

Of course, these words are very informal, and one would not normally use them in a formal context, or when talking to one’s doctor. Here one would use the word bpassawa (ปัสสาวะ) for urine, and tai bpassawa (ถ่ายปัสสาวะ) for urinate. Similarly, stools are utchara (อุจจาระ), and to defecate is tai utchara.

Another rather formal word for urine, and one that surely began as a euphemism, as the word otherwise means ‘to relieve’, ‘light’, ‘easy’, is bao (เบา). This word is used when talking of the Royal Family, and is also preserved in bao waan (literally ’sweet urine’) or diabetes.

Finally, Thais do sometimes employ more obvious euphemisms. If you are a woman and you bpai det dork mai (‘go to pick flowers’), you might actually be going to the loo, while the equivalent for men is bpai ying gratai (‘go to shoot rabbits’), expressions which no doubt have their origins in the fields.

If you are not in the fields, you will do your business in the hong nam (ห้องน้ำ – ‘water room’), hong suam (ห้องส้วม – ‘latrine room’), or more formally, the sukha (สุขา). This last one would seem to derive from suk, or pleasure. So glad to have got that out.

In Thai, this polite versus vulgar language is perhaps more encompassing than in English, and in the next few posts I want to address some of the areas in which it is used: with animals, for body parts and for bodily functions.

In part, the distinction in Thai is between formal written Thai and that spoken amongst ordinary people, but this division is far from being clear cut. The ‘formal’ version of a word might be more appropriate used in particular social settings (such as talking to a doctor or a teacher), while the ‘vulgar’ version might be used in written form when quoting speech or simply for a more informal effect.

The three animals to which the polite/vulgar distinction applies are the pig, the dog, and, somewhat surprisingly to westerners, the water monitor. The two former of these, of course, are considered dirty in many cultures, and the words for these animals are often insults. Interestingly, in Thai the common words for pig and dog are not considered particularly insulting, but they are merely considered too unrefined for formal usage.

In informal usage, ‘pig’ in Thai is moo (หมู), while the formal equivalent is sukon (สุกร), the latter word deriving from Sanskrit.  Similarly Sanskrit-derived is the formal word for dog, sunak (สุนัข), as opposed to the informal maa (หมา).

The case of the water monitor is somewhat different. For some reason, calling someone a water monitor, or hia (เหี้ย), in Thai, is considered a particularly grave insult. While the word may be used with a degree of affection among close, usually male, friends (it is sometimes prefixed in front of a name and used almost as a title, indicating a degree of toughness on the part of the person thus named), in general usage it should be avoided.

Formally, therefore, a water monitor is often described as a taguat (ตะกวด), but strictly speaking this is inaccurate, as the latter is in fact a Bengal monitor, as opposed to  the substantially larger water monitor. This distinction is, however, rarely observed. Another way of avoiding usage of the word hia is to speak of a tua ngern tua thong (ตัวเงินตัวทอง), or ’silver and gold creature’ instead.

Southern Thai can be broadly divided into three regions. Southeastern Thai is spoken in Nakhon Sri Thammarat, Phattalung, Songkhla, parts of Pattani, Satun, and, despite not being in the Southeast, Trang. The pronunciation of Southeastern Thai can be distinguished by the fact that the ‘g’ sound (kor kai - ก.ไก่) is clearly articulated.

In Krabi, Phang Nga, Surat Thani and Chumporn, which belong in dialect (if not necessarily geography) to the southwestern group, the sound kor kai is absent, so that dork mai (‘flower’) becomes do mai, sam yaek (‘three-way intersection’) is sam yae, and so on.

Finally, in parts of Pattani, Narathiwat and the northernmost provinces of Malaysia, the dialect is known as je he (เจ๊ะเห) or the Tak Bai dialect. Particularly incomprehensible to outsiders, even to other Southerners, je he is thought to have been directly influeced by the language spoken in the former Kingdom of Sukhothai, possibly due to having been ruled by Sukhothai in the distant past.

Although generally written in Thai script, Southern Thai is sometimes written in yawi, an Arabic-inspired script used to write the Malay language, and is thus often found in religious (Muslim) settings.

Northern Thai, or kham mueng (คำเมือง) as it is locally known, is predominantly spoken in the northernmost provinces of Chiang Mai, Mae Hong Son, Chiang Rai, Phrae, Nan, Lamphun, Lampang and Tak, although it is also spoken less widely further south. It is also the main language spoken by the Thai Yuan ethnic group, and thus pockets of it are found wherever members of this group have migrated, particularly in Saraburi, Ratchaburi and Nakhon Ratchasima provinces.

Kham Mueng has is origins in the Lanna Kingdom, which ruled northern Thailand together with parts of China and Burma from the 13th to the 16th centuries. Originally it used its own script, known as Tua Mueng (ตั๋วเมือง or ตัวเมือง), derived from the Mon alphabet, although this is now only found in Buddhist manuscripts in the region.

For the most part, Kham Mueng is very similar to Central Thai, and where it does differ, it is largely a matter of tone. Thus while the word for ‘ten’ in Central Thai is pronounced with a low tone, in Northern Thai it has a high tone.

One noticeable difference is that the letter ‘r’ in Central Thai is generally transformed into an ‘h’ in Kham Mueng, so that, for example, rao (‘we’) becomes hao, and rak (‘love’) is pronounced hak.

Some words, however, differ entirely between Central and Northern Thai. Yee sip (ยี่สิบ) or ‘twenty’ in Central Thai is sao (ซาว) in Kham Mueng, chorp (ชอบ) ‘to like’ is mak (มัก), and dern (เดิน) ‘to walk’ is variously translated as tiaw, tew, or yaang (เตียว, เตว, ย่าง). These are just examples, and the list is fairly extensive; not so extensive, however, as to make it impossible for speakers of the two dialects to understand one another.

The word Isan is often used to refer to both the dialect and the region from which it emanates, but many Thais simply refer to the dialect as ‘Lao’ – a somewhat derogatory term, given the low esteem in which both Laos and Thailand’s Northeastern region are held in by the rest of the nation.

To call it ‘Lao’, however, is not to imply that it is a separate language. Both Thai and Lao are extremely closely related, and most Lao speakers, even those living in Laos, can understand Thai perfectly easily (the obverse is not always quite so true; while Laotians are exposed to Thai from the pervasive Thai media, not all Thais are quite so exposed to Lao).

Nor is it to imply that the dialect spoken in Isan is identical to that spoken in Laos. While in the past both Laos and Isan were ruled by the Lan Xang Kingdom and shared the same language, their subsequent political divergence means that the Isan dialect has become more closely influenced by Central Thai. Nonetheless, the fact remains that Isan is more closely related to the Lao language than it is to the language of central Thailand.

Moreover, speakers of the Isan dialect use the Thai alphabet in which to write their language, while Laotians use a Mon-derived script.

In order to asscertain whether someone is speaking in the Isan dialect, there are a few standard markers. The first you are likely to hear is the word bor (บ่) to negate a word, rather than the Thai mai (ไม่). You will often find bor used in newspaper headlines in standard Thai, when the headliner writers want to appear creative. Equally, bor is used as a question words, as in the phrase sabai dee bor? (‘how are you/are you well?’), which in Thai would be sabai dee mai?

Secondly, you will notice that Isan speakers almost universally pronounced the Thai letter ‘r’ as ‘l’, so that, for instance, rot (รถ), or ‘car’ in Thai becomes ‘lot’ in Isan. While this is by no means confined to the Isan region – it is very common for ‘r’s and ‘l’s to be interchanged throughout Thailand – it is particularly prevalent in the Northeast. In some instances, ‘r’ becomes not ‘l’ but ‘h’, so that nak rian (’school student’) in Thai becomes nak hian in the Northeastern dialect, a trait shared by the dialect of the Northern region.

Another letter pronounced differently in Isan is ‘ch’, which in the Northeastern dialect becaomes ’s’. Equally, there are certain consonant clusters that Isan speakers do not pronounce, so that, for instance, the Thai word for song, phleng (เพลง) becomes pheng.

While some aspects of Isan might appear simpler than Thai, tone-phobic language learners will be disheartened to learn that Isan has six tones, compared to the five of Central Thai. Moreover, words pronounced in one tone in Central Thai might be said in a completely different tone in the Isan dialect.

To confuse matters even more, talk of a single Isan dialect is perhaps misleading, as there are several different dialects spoken around the Northeastern region. Just ask a taxi driver, and you might well learn some. Meanwhile, an excellent little introduction can be found here.

Simply put, farang (ฝรั่ง) in Thai refers to any white-skinned foreigner. While a black Westerner might possibly be called a farang, this is unusual, and the term is normally reserved for white people (black people are normally referred to simply as khon dam , or ‘black person’, unless they happen to be Tiger Woods, who due to his Thai ancestry is, of course, Thai). By extension, the word has come to mean anything foreign, hence man farang (มันฝรั่ง) is a potato (the word man by itself refers to any tuber, and in particularly cassava), while mak farang (หมากฝรั่ง) is chewing gum (mak is betel, traditionally chewed in Thailand – presumably mak farang was thus named because it is chewed in a similar way).

Another meaning of farang is guava, thought to be named after the Portuguese farang traders who first brought the fruit to Thailand. The sight of a farang eating a farang can thus be a cause for a few giggles among Thais.

Despite the word being common in Thai, no-one is entirely sure how it entered the language. It is clear that it ultimately derives from ‘Frank’, or French, but whether it comes directly from the Thai word for France (farangset) or not is a matter of debate. While the French established ties with the Siamese court of Ayutthaya in the 17th century, Thais had been familiar with Westerners, in particular the Portuguese, for several decades previously. Indeed, one rather improbable theory has it that the word farang comes from the fact that Portuguese traders settled in a village named Baan Farang (guava village).

The more likely etymology of the word, however, comes from the Persian farangi (which again derives from ‘Frank’), or from the Arabic ifranj. Similar words have been used throughout South and Southeast Asia to refer to foreigners – parangi in the Indian state of Kerala, parangiar in Tamil, barang in Cambodia.

Unlike other monikers used to describe members of an ethnic group, the word farang does not carry any derogatory connotations. Most Thais are respectful of Westerners (if finding some of their practices downright daft), and if you are followed by a horde of children shouting farang behind your back, you can rest assured that the children are merely being curious, and are probably delighted to have a foreigner in their midst.

Equally neutral is the term luuk krueng (ลูกครึ่ง), used to refer to people of mixed Thai-European race. Luuk means ‘child’ and krueng means ‘half’, so literally a luuk krueng is something like a ‘half-and-half child’ (not half a child – that would be krueng luuk). However, it has none of the connotations of the word ‘half-caste’, and indeed, most luuk krueng in Thailand, where physical beauty is deemed so important, are adored for their Western facial features.

The formal name for a foreigner is khon (or chao) taang chaat (คนต่างชาติ), which merely means ‘person from another nation’. Again, this term is very neutral, and is used in all official documents. However, this term is rarely used when speaking of people from Thailand’s neighbouring countries, in particular its three immediate neighbours, Laos, Burma (Myanmar) and Cambodia. Rather than being khon taang chaat, they are generally known as khon taang dao (คนต่างด้าว), which can be roughly translated as ‘person from another territory’.

There are no doubt historic reasons for this. Until very recently, Thailand’s borders have not been clearly demarcated, and even now, disputes remain over some border regions (most recently the Khao Pra Viharn temple on the Thai-Cambodian border). Territory in the region has changed hands from one kingdom to the next over the centuries, and for many people in Thailand, the relinquishing of what was once Siamese or Thai territory still smarts. Hence in some ways, neighbouring countries are not separate nations in the same way that more far-flung places are

However, in many ways they are entirely separate nations – Burma, Laos and Cambodia (despite its rocketing economy) remain significantly poorer than Thailand, and many nationals of these countries flock to Thailand to work. Here they are given ‘alien registration cards’ as opposed to the work permits handed out to farangs, and are often blamed for no end of disease and crime.

Somewhat conveniently, the word khon taang dao differs only in the tone of the last word from khon taang dao (คนต่างดาว), meaning alien in the sense of those little green men from up there, and indeed, the word ‘alien’ is generally used as a translation of both. Khon taang dao are indeed Others in popular stereotypes, impoverished, dirty, disease-ridden and criminal, as different from law-abiding Thais as men from Mars. Of course not all Thais subscibe to these stereotypes, but the media perpetuation of them, and the continuing use of the term khon taang dao, do little to help.  Not all foreigners in Thailand are farang, and not all foreigners are equal.

Broadly speaking, Thai can be divided into Central Thai (spoken in Bangkok and the central region of the country, and taught as standard in all Thai schools), Northeastern Thai (spoken in the Isaan region), Northern Thai and Southern Thai. In addition, Thais living near the Cambodian border often speak Khmer as their first language, while many Chinese Thai speak the Chinese language known in Thai as tae jiw.

However, these sweeping categories in fact conceal a number of even smaller dialects. The Pattani dialect, for instance, is thought to be spoken by over 3 million inhabitants of the four southernmost provinces, while Khorat Thai is spoken by around 2 million people living around Nakhon Ratchasima. Mon, one of the languages of Burma (Myanmar) is spoken along the Thai-Burmese border, and even as far from the border as Lopburi and Nonthaburi, and some of the ‘hill tribes’ in the North have quite sizeable numbers of speakers of languages including Thai Lue (around 100,000 speakers), Akha and Thai Yai, to name but a few.

While the vast majority of dialects (around 90%) spoken in Thailand are members of the Tai-Kadai family of languages, smaller minorities speak languages belonging to the Austro-Asiastic family, Austronesian family and Tibeto-Burman family.

In the coming few posts, I will look at some of these dialects, and their similarities with Central Thai.

While Thai doesn’t have quite as many words for eating as the Inuit language apparently does for snow, it is certainly true that there are many different ways to say ‘to eat’ in everyday use.

In the phrase in the first paragraph, I used kin to mean ‘to eat’. Kin is probably the commonest way to say ‘eat’ in Thai, but while certainly not vulgar, it is not considered particularly polite either. Therefore in a polite social setting, or particularly when talking to strangers or someone of a higher social status, the verb to use would be thaan. This means exactly the same thing, but is simply a more refined way of saying it.

If you know some Thai, you will also note that ‘eat’ in the first paragraph is actually rendered kin khao, which literally means ‘eat rice’. Of course Thai people do not eat rice all the time, and kin khao in this context isn’t confined to having eaten rice – it merely means ‘to eat some kind of food’.

However, to avoid any confusion, a really formal way of saying ‘to eat’ is rap prathaan ahaan, which literally means ‘to receive food that is bestowed’. It should be noted that this is extremely formal indeed, and is used more in written Thai than in the spoken language.

To move even further up the social scale, the verb ‘to eat’ when applied to monks is chan, which specifically refers to the partaking of the monk’s meal before midday (after which time monks are not allowed to eat). With the Royal Family, as I have mentioned in a previous post, one would use the word sawoei.

Climbing back down the social scale, the word mam is generally used to mean ‘to eat’ when talking to babies or young children, who are traditionally weaned on jok, or congee (Chinese-style rice porridge). I imagine the origins of this word are probably just standard universal baby talk.

A very vulgar way of saying ‘to eat’ is daek, which means something like ’scoff’ or ‘gobble up’, which may be acceptable among groups of close male friends, but is only a fraction off being a swear word, and in no account should it be used in ordinary conversation.